Bolt's stable mates at Fox News have nothing on our Andrew but they are cut from the same cloth. Pyne wants our education standards lowered so that more of us can understand Andrew Bolt and Alan Jones

Posted in humor, politics

Obama To Introduce More Deadly Infectious Diseases To U.S. Beginning In January

 Hoping to build on the successful introduction of Ebola last month, the Administration secretly plans to introduce a wide variety of deadly infectious diseases into the United States over the coming year, according to Fox News dullard Sean Hannity.

Dr. Mobley, who has been treated in the past for paranoid schizophrenia, is seen here trying to buy a one way ticket to a remote research facility in Antarctica

On Wednesday’s show Hannity once again trotted out the unstable conspiracy theorist Dr. Gil Mobley, who told Hannity’s mortified viewers that it’s “absolutely inevitable” the U.S. will be “importing Ebola and other lethal viruses on an hourly basis come next spring.”
“It’s all part of Obama’s plan to destroy the United States and leave the country in smoking ruins by the time his presidency comes to an end in 2016,” said Hannity. “Ebola is already completely out of control here in the United States, and God help us if it gets a toehold in Central America.”
Hannity claimed “a top U.S. commander” is warning that if Ebola breaks out in Central America, we’ll be overrun with contagious brown-skinned immigrants “It’s literally, Katy, bar the door,” Hannity said, supposedly quoting that “top U.S. commander.”

After being told that Delta no longer offered direct flights to Antarctica, Dr. Mobley enlisted the help of a friendly airport employee in an attempt to figure out where the hell he parked his ambulance.

Mobley called the Central American scenario “very real.” He went on to say, “They say it’s hard to catch but you tell that to the NBC cameraman that caught it from a car.”
Mobley went on to explain that contrary to all the scientific evidence ever gathered on Ebola and other viruses that cause hemorrhagic fever, the deadly disease could be contracted by coming into contact with inanimate objects and various modes of transport such as automobiles, buses, airplanes, and even interplanetary mother ships piloted by aliens.
“The best thing people can do is to dig an expedient shelter in the ground somewhere around their home, and stay there indefinitely,” said Mobley. “I have plans on my web site for such shelters, complete with home-made latrines and running water, provided you have a stream or river running through the middle of your neighborhood. The plans are only $24.99, and all you need is a shovel, a low IQ, and a maniacal, obsessive hatred of the President and black folks in general in order to get the job done.”
Hannity was unclear as to just how the conspiracy was hatched, but was very specific as to when it was put in motion.

Hannity told his viewers that although the Antichrist Obama had been held at bay so far by brave members of the Tea Party and various other unhinged organizations, this latest conspiracy would spell doom for life as we know it in America

“Benghazi was the first act in this apocalyptic play,” said Hannity. “Obama, with the help of Hillary Clinton, sacrificed one of our ambassadors in order to throw us off the trail, and the heinous plan worked to perfection. That idiot Darrell Issa swallowed it hook, line and sinker.”
Hannity went on to say that the Administration planned to start off small with the introduction of Rift Valley Fever in January, but planned on cranking up the pressure later in the spring with weaponized Bubonic Plague and smallpox sprayed from drones circling the American heartland. The home-grown terror campaign would be topped off next summer with the delivery of anthrax laden hot dog buns to every grocery store in the U.S. prior to the July 4th holiday.
When contacted for comment on Hannity’s hysterical revelations, White House spokesman Josh Earnest told the New York Times “It never ceases to amaze me that anyone takes anything they hear on Fox News seriously. I suppose it is a sad testament to the woeful state of public education in this country.”
In response, Hannity later told his radio listeners “See, they’re denying it all! That’s a sure sign that I’m right on the money about this whole thing! We’re all doomed, and there’s not a damn thing anyone can do about it!”